Last week I started pre-reading Embracing Beauty by Trina Holden, in anticipation of it’s new release this week. At the same time, I was wrestling with feeling like it was incredible that my walk with God even exists because ever since having my 2 wonderful children, I can glance through my Journal and find maybe 20 entries I’m guessing. How can I feel so close to God yet still feel like I shouldn’t be, or I’m not?
Through my teen years I led a discipleship group for young ladies, and studying for those lessons was something I did on top of my daily 1-2 hours of being in the Word, journaling, prayer time. They often coincided, but I spent hours a week with God. But now, that’s not always practical. Well, according to the above paragraph, such times are almost “non-existent”.
Over the last week, through reading Embracing Beauty, beautiful days outside with my kids, date time with my husband, and just life, God has shown me that just because I don’t spend 1-2 hours every day reading and studying His word, doesn’t mean my relationship with Him isn’t there, it just doesn’t look the same right now.
Right now, for me, it’s about keeping my focus on Him in all that I’m doing. Praying, talking to Him all the time, while I’m doing other stuff, and in those few quiet moments. And when it seems like I have some time to get in the Word, I go for it! (And when it gets cut short, I focus on being thankful for the time I did get, even if it was 4 minutes!) It’s easy to become so focused on the kids, keeping up the home, oh! and don’t forget the Husband, to forget to communicate with Him who made us! It’s almost like a treasure hunt. Looking for God, His fingerprints on everything around me, giving Him glory, and going to Him with all that’s on my heart and mind.
He’s just been reminding me to keep looking to Him in the here and now. Not making it about specific times of Bible quiet time, making everything about Him as I live my life.